Make time to be really ‘present’ when you are home

Time is so precious and it’s one of those things in life we can’t take back….would be nice, wouldn’t it?

It’s one of those things as a mum that you get so busy trying to multi task and work through that never-ending list that sometimes we just need to stop and really be present in the moment or we miss it.

It’s a funny thing that someone said to be me one day, how do you work and manage kids as well? Well I guess everyone is different but working to me is not really a chore (although some days I do wonder…) but the way I look at work is that it is something for me that challenges my brain and I get to talk to ‘adults’ during the day.

Don’t get me wrong I love my kids but when I was home on maternity leave I found myself not really focusing on them the whole time and spending a lot of it almost challenging myself on how to get the chores done at the same time as spoon feeding puree into their mouths. I love spending time with them but I realised I need something for my mental stimulation and personal satisfaction….and guess what, that’s not wrong ladies.

You need something for you, your identity and your happiness. I read a statistic from Think with Google the other day that said 75% of millennial parents continue their personal passions while us Gen Xers put them aside when we had kids. Who has it right? I guess it’s different for everyone but I personally think if we are inspirational role models for our kids then we can’t go wrong.

 

Now I am back at work it has given me back something that is for me and my brain and now when I spend time with my kids I am there, I am not trying to do other things, they have my attention and I am more focused on how their day was, who are their friends, how can I help?

I was fortunate to hear a speaker some time ago called Dr Adam Fraser, who has written a great book which I would highly recommend, called The Third Space. I learnt this concept of focus on time and especially ‘being present’ from Adam’s talk. It’s so true we can all have bad days but what you need to do is separate your working world from your personal space so you don’t bring a bad day home with you.

He talks a lot about the rewards you really get by how you ‘show up’. Stop carrying the baggage from the last conversation or a past issue into the next one. It’s not easy but just being aware of it is a huge thing. He talked about a third space which is really interesting and basically this is a transition space between say work and home.

I find this so true, so imagine you leave work and your transition space is your drive home in the car. My drive is great pop music at a decent volume with me singing along and relaxing, before I get in the driveway. This helps me ‘show up’ with the woes of the day behind me for the next part of my day with hubby and the kids for dinner. Makes a lot of sense and something simple. So where is your third space?

 Time is such a precious thing so don’t waste it sweating the small stuff, I say. It’s not always easy  agree and sometimes it is good to talk things through and out but try not to bring I into your personal world as you’ll miss out on the little things and you will kick yourself later. Check out his book The Third Space

 The Third Space

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3 Comments
  1. Working is a great outlet from all the chores of day to day life. If you love your job then it’s not really “work”.

    1. It’s pretty true isn’t it. They always say you should do what you love or at least enjoy and then its not a chore. Thanks for sharing Lyndell 🙂

  2. Suzanne kwan says:

    Some great advice Gez!!!

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